Anxiety is uncomfortable. It tightens your chest, quickens your breath, and fills your mind with an endless loop of “what-ifs.” Naturally, the instinctive response is to avoid whatever is triggering the anxiety. If a social gathering makes you uneasy, you cancel. If a challenging project at work fills you with dread, you procrastinate. If an important conversation feels overwhelming, you put it off.

Conflict is a natural part of relationships, but how couples handle it can deepen connection or drive couples further apart. Oftentimes couples come into counseling with a long list of problems focused on their partner. If my partner wasn’t so critical, if my partner wasn’t so sensitive, if my partner gave me more affection… we wouldn’t have these conflicts. Conflict is typically co-created and in some cases maintained because it serves some function in the relationship. From a psychodynamic view, resolving conflict starts with understanding how each partner contributes to the dynamic.

Many people believe that therapists are zen-like creatures who have perfectly intact mental health at all times. Afterall we are there to help you improve your mental health so we must have achieved consistent success with our own. This is not the case. Therapists are people. Therapists are human.